Thursday

today is the day I dread  every week. I have become very accustomed  to hating thursdays. For those of you  who don't know our beutiful little boy Kimball has know been gone for 3 weeks  it is the hardest 3 weeks I've ever had to face.  Every day I wake up and think was it just a bad dream and start to remember that It has really happened. I know that on wednesday  Im gonna have a bad day and on Thursday  I know that I'm gonna have a really bad day. Kimball was born on a Thursday one of the best days of my life. Kimball also pasted away on a Thursday one of the worst days of my life. We also barred Kimball on a Thursday thats why Thursdays are no good for me. I also open the mail box everyday and find one of 3 things 1. a sympothy card 2. a bill for me or kimball or 3. a statement from the insurance company for kimball's services. I hate checking the mail. I also hate going into big crowds because I know that someone hasn't yet heard the news and I always seem to find them and they make me relieve the events all over again. We truly appreciate all  of the prayers and cards and thoughts. I also would like to get on with things and stop having people telling me how sorry they are for my loss and if there's anything they can do. If you know what you can do for me feel free, but I don't know if there's anything anyone can do for me. I am having a tough time with the loss of Kimball and it really hurts me because Alissa keeps crying and when I ask her whats wrong she says she doesn't know she is just sad. It breaks my heart to know that she doesn't truly understand. I also have her ask if things are for Kimball or say that's Kimball or when she ask me wheres Kimball. I know she doesn't know that it makes me upset. I try not to cry in  front of her because  it makes her upset. When all is said and done its hard for us to wake up and not feel sad It will be along road ahead of us but we are doing well and will continue to feel  better everyday and we love Kimball and will honor him by talking about him and remembering him. I know he is in a better place and we will see him again someday. We thank god everyday for the time we had with Kimball and the joy   he has brought to our life.